Stranded in Kumily?

I disembarked the bus in (surprise, surprise), a rundown, muddly little town.
The bus station, lit by neon and with no visible system in place whatsoever, was heaving.
Kumily exists for two reasons. It is a border town between the two states of Kerala and TamilNadu, and it is the entrance portal to the Peryar Wildlife Sanctury, an area of mountainous jungle of about 777kmsq.
Tourists come here to see elephants bathing in rivers, monkeys in trees, bison grazing and maybe even tigers, all in their wild habitat. Entrance to the reserve is strictly monitored and can be expensive if you're not in a big group. Tour operators generally charge for a day's excursion what you might normally pay for a week's accommodation, and a lot of the time you're sat in a jeep with a load of fat Germans and taken on a sterile, well-trodden route through the more accessible and "tame" areas of the park. You'd probably be more likely to spot a black albino than a black bear.

I looked around for Sakeer, Babu's friend, who was supposed to be collecting me from the bus-stop and taking me to the hostel. There were a lot of people about, but no-one who looked specifically like they were waiting for anyone. I had just decided to go to the hostel anyway - Babu had drawn me a rough map - when a young moustachioed man tugged at my sleeve.
"You come from Munnar?" He asked.
"Yeah. I just got off this bus."
"You going to Victoria Hostel?"
"Yeah, I am actually. Are you Sakeer?"
"No. Sakeer is on trek. I'm Amesh. I will take you."
I nodded and he went to grab my rucksack. I picked it up quickly.
"It's alright. I've got it." I said, not wanting to offend him, but also not wanting him to get his potentially filthy thieving hands on my stuff.
He did that funny Indian head-wiggling thing that i took to mean "Okay, cool", smiled and set off with me following.
"You want to go on tour?" He asked.
I told him I did and he explained that he would arrange for Sakeer to pick me up at 7:30am, then we'd drive to the reserve, wander round for a bit, have some lunch, check out the spice gardens and be back by 5pm.
"No," I said. "I need to get on a bus to Allepey tomorrow after lunch". I was going to try and find Matt. He smiled.
"Strike tomorrow. No buses."
That was strange. I'd told Babu what i was intending to do, and he hadn't mentioned it.
"What. No buses at all?" He shook his head.
"No. So, you want to go on all-day tour tomorrow?"
I considered it for a minute. It sounded like a bit of a scam. Con me into getting the more expensive all-day tour, and by the time I arrive back in the afternoon to discover the buses were running fine, It'd be too late to travel and I'd have to stay another night in his mate's hostel.
Very clever.
Well I wasn't going to fall for it.
"No, I think that sounds too expensive. I'd much rather do the morning trek instead."
He shrugged.
"Sure. Is much cheaper."
We carried on walking, and Amesh started calling someone on his phone, doubtless one of his accomplices: "The foreigner didn't fall for it. Let's move to Plan B!"
We approached the Victoria Hostel and I saw a guy on a mobile phone standing on the steps outside. As we got closer, he stopped talking and hung up, at just about the same time as Amesh finished his conversation. My suspicions were immediately roused, and as we got to the front door, the man on the step came forward.
"Sorry, we're full." He said, smiling politely.
Very clever. I thought. I see what you guys are doing.
"You can try up there." He continued. "The Rainbow Cottage has space."
Very fucking clever.
I shrugged, willing at this stage anyway, to go along with their little charade a while longer. I can play the clueless Englishman pretty easily.
"Oh, thanks. The Rainbow Cottage? That sounds delightful."
The two guys exchanged a look and the goon on the step gestured up a muddy track. We walked and Amesh carried on chatting.
"Is not far. Nice place, and very cheap." He reassured me.
Whatever. I thought.
It was starting to rain and at this point i was perfectly prepared to acknowledge i was being screwed and follow this man a little longer, even if it meant i'd have to pay over the odds for my room. I needed a shower and a bed soon and in the grand scheme of things, even the very expensive places weren't that expensive. Fuck the principal of the thing, i was knackered.

Suddenly, all the lights around us switched off and we were plunged into darkness, totally blind. Amesh continued unpeturbed, and called back to me.
"Power cut. 30 minutes every night. Same time."
I looked at my watch. It was 7:30 on the dot.
I suppose he could be telling the truth.
Here i was, walking down an incredibly dodgy track, unable to see what i was stepping in, indeed what i was supposed to be stepping in, following a total stranger somewhere I hadn't been before. I had no idea where i was, what i was doing or indeed what the Malayalam was for "Ouch. What was that?" or "Get off me, you bastard!"
I considered my options:
1) Run, or at least try to with this rucksack on.
2) Attack Amesh pre-emptively. I've never heard for that not to work.
3) Pretend to faint (i don't know whether that would have really helped, but i reckon i could have probably done it quite well).
4) Bang on the nearest door shouting "Mansillayilla!", the only Malayam word i have memorised meaning "I don't understand."
Suddenly the Rainbow Cottage loomed into view.
I say "loomed", but that suggests it slunk creepily out of the shadows. What actually happened was that we turned a corner and the place jumped out of the darkness the way you might expect if a fairground ride suddenly appeared at a really serious Catholic sermon. It was so bright in contrast to what had a second ago been pitch black, that i could barely focus properly. When i did finally get my vision back, however, it truly was marvel to behold.
If you'd given an imaginitive child a load of amphetamines and some radioactive icing-sugar, and asked them to decorate a cake to look like a really ostentatious gaybar, you might have gotten close to this. The Playboy Mansion having been put through Grand Designs by Liberace, perhaps. The walls were bright pink, orange, turquoise and green, with yellow pillars, ornate golden railings and elaborate little carvings everywhere. The place was amazing. It was like one of those tacky snowdomes of Lourdes brought to life by Jeff Koons. The whole thing glowed, and it was lit by hundreds of multicoloured halogens, adding to the already otherworldy, hallucinogenic effect.
A man was standing at the doorway and i approached with trepidation, feeling a little like Hansel and Gretel must have done approaching the gingerbread house.
I turned around and Amesh was gone, turned back to the house and the guy from the stairs was suddenly un-nervingly close.
"You want a room?" He boomed. I pictured a saccharine-tainted smile under a candy-floss moustache.
"Er... Yes please."
He turned and made for the door.
"Come. Follow."
I looked around at the pitch black that had enveloped the entire town and then up at the glowing edifice infront of me. Something was not quite right.
"You have electricity?" I asked.
"Yes, yes." He nodded without turning round. "We have a generator. Powercut same time every day. 30 minutes. You stay for 2 days?"
"Er... No. Just one, thanks. I have to go to Allepey tomorrow."
"Bus strike tomorrow. You stay for two days."
Hmmm... I thought. They've rung ahead again. They're very organised, these guys, and this con is gettnig incredibly elaborate. I figured i'd play along for a while longer to see where it went - i didn't want them to know i was onto them.
With that, I stepped over the threshold and into the pink, lurid meringue of the lobby.

The bedroom was indeed very comfortable with a bed that could have easily slept 4 and more light switches than i knew waht to do with (i counted 25 for 7 lights - 7 of them were in the bathroom).
I was knackered, and again had to be up at 5am, so I showered, doused myself in aftersun (the day in the tea plantation had been surprisingly punishing on my new skinhead) and hit the sack.
As i drifted off, i wondered how it was that at my last hostel, the constant noise of the generator had practically been a feature of my room, yet here, the entire building was totally silent.